When I Die, Just Scatter My Ashes At Super Target
Christmas came early for me this year. I got something I've been
wanting for a long time. Not jewelry, clothes, an i phone or one of
those snazzy new netbooks I've been wanting for so long (fire engine
red, please, Santa?).
Nope,
my gift came in a huge, concrete box with red polka dots scattered all
through it. Give up? I'm talking about the new Super Target in Mesquite.
For
years now, I've been wishing for a grocery store that carried
everything I needed, all in one place, at the same time...quite a
concept, isn't it? Apparently, it's very rare. At least it is where I
live.
Oh, we have plenty of grocery stores - no question about
that. But, just try and get everything on your list at one single
store. I'm not talking anything rare and exotic. No
almost-unheard-of-spice you'll use only once or twice in your entire
lifetime.
No, I'm talking things like, fat free Pringle's
potato chips, 8th Continent Soy milk, Pedigree Dentalstix for dogs, and
Diet Peach Snapple. Very rare fare indeed, if you want to find it all
at the same store. At least it WAS rare until Super Target opened their
pearly gates and admitted me into my version of grocery store Heaven.
I
admit I entered the store ready to be disappointed. I'd had high hopes
for grocery stores before. Wal-Mart Market, The Wal-Mart Super Store,
Tom Thumb, Albertson's and Kroger had all lured me in with vague
promises of satisfying my hunter/gatherer needs by crossing every
single item off of my grocery list all in one trip.
But, no
matter how many chances I've given these stores, they've always left me
with one or two items still on my list, which meant one or two trips to
ANOTHER store. Believe me, there is nothing sadder than a woman with a
packed shopping cart, trudging through the store looking for that last
item she needs. It's like we're begging them to take our money, please?
Now,
you might be wondering why I didn't just ASK the store about carrying
those items? Well, been there, done that. When I asked the Asst.
Manager at Wal-Mart Market about the Diet Peach Snapple, she assured me
they didn't carry it anymore. (They did - it showed up at Wal-Mart
Market two weeks later, AFTER I had made a special trip to Kroger's.)
During
my trip to Super Target this week, I had to stop myself from joyfully
skipping up and down the aisles. And, I admit to startling more than
one customer by turning to them and blurting out: "Look, they have fat
free Pringles in regular AND BBQ!" I also think I sobbed out loud a
little when I saw the Shiritaki noodles in the produce section, but I
don't think anybody noticed.
Yes, Super Target has earned a
loyal customer this week, and it was so easy really. All they had to do
was realize that consumers want to be offered quality and diversity,
even in Mesquite, Texas.
Hmmmmm, a lack of diversity in Mesquite? Don't get me started.