Did you think that the finale of this Vegas saga was my getting some bling on my left ring-finger? Well think again, although I did get a few baubles -- two real classy plastic ID bracelets from the hospital, one of which was green and said I wasn't allergic to any medications. I should have found a T-shirt in Vegas that said: Went to Vegas and all I got was a lousy $400 emergency room fee. But I've jumped ahead...

The day me and TEKG were supposed to leave Vegas, we had a day planned for grabbing breakfast with his mother, cashing in our vouchers and chips, taking more photos (especially in front of the famous Vegas welcome sign) and checking out the Luxor. We originally were going to hit a buffet, which was something I hadn't done while there. But we went to a popular pub instead where I ordered an omelet and a side of bacon. It was a pleasant breakfast. TEKG's mother had just finished a charity run with her company and we chatted about my first visit in their town. TEK even started trying to figure out if we could get a later flight because there was still so much I wanted to see and do, however there wasn't a feasible red-eye in sight for a Saturday night out of Vegas...

After breakfast, we said our goodbyes to his mother and headed out to the strip. By then I had already bought some stuff to settle my increasingly queasy stomach and while we played the tables, I was sipping on Alka Selzer. That didn't help. My jovial mood melted away by the time we took pics in from of the Vegas welcome sign. If you see that photo, that's why I don't look so hot. Right afterwards I puked in a service station bathroom. Then at the airport and I spent a wonderful two hours continuing that trend every five minutes on the plane.

TEKG was worried. I didn't look so good. I started to get weak and very delirious. He asked that the airline attendants to phone for a wheelchair, a possible medic and to make an announcement to let me off the plane first. They stated that they would. When I say I was vomiting every five minutes on a two-hour (LATE-STARTING) flight, I'm not exaggerating. Much to our fortune (and misfortune), we were seated in the back and I was close to the bathroom, which was already disgusting.

When we finally landed, everyone on the plane stood up to retrieve their carry-ons and get ready to depart the plane. There was no announcement and I had to wait in pain for everyone to get off the plane first. TEKG was livid. But there was a wheelchair waiting. Only problem is that it came with a very fiery, rude attendant. She actually banged the wheelchair repeatedly against the wall, claimed she had no idea what was going on, and pushed me up the ramp with such force that TEK said he would take over. Meanwhile by the time he was expressing to the staff his disappointment in the airline, the attendant started yelling obscenities in the background while everyone pretended not to notice.

A medic did come and said he suspected food poisoning. He said I needed to get to the ER and gave use the map to the closest one. But forget about help with obtaining our three bags. We waited almost an hour all the while I'm yakking and so weak I barely could keep my head up. Between waiting for any kind of baggage assistance (which we were told was coming and never did) and finally leaving for the hospital; two hours transpired with minimal and very lazy help. In fact one of the staff said, "We don't make those kind of announcements [requesting people to remain in their seats for someone to get off the plane]. It's against policy."

Once at the hospital, we waited another two hours in the ER while everyone got disgusted at my blue barf baggie. I mean what ever happened to worst cases coming first in line to be seen? There was a guy with a bloody nose and very non-sick looking people. None of them had to hang on to a blue barf baggie thingie, mind you. And apparently two seems to be the magic number in this mayhem because it took another two hours to draw blood from my already tiny and dehydrated veins. Can you say nightmare ending to a heavenly vacation or what? All in all, we filed a complaint against the airline. NOTE: If you would like to know which one (though you can probably guess), email me.

The ribbon on this wonderful ending is that it wasn't food poisoning. But hey, at least I got to see Vegas...and now I get to see a gastroenterologist.