Thing I miss most about corporate life are the funny stories. I don’t know about your industry, but because mine was/is restaurants, I can’t share a lot of stuff for a number of reasons, but some I can.
* * *
I was running the meeting and had a group of about twenty folks who were together for the first time. Those things tend to be a bit tense at first, so one thing that breaks the ice nicely was: “Let’s go once around the room and tell us what CD you’re playing the heck out of in your car.” (This was before IPods and MP3’s.)
One guy piped right up and said his was the GO-Go’s and he was real proud when he said it. The comedian of my gathering, with perfect timing, said, “What…is it stuck?”
A woman said her number one CD was the Greatest Hits of REO Speed Wagon
My guy says, “Greatest hits? Both of ‘em?”
* * *
An unforgettable meeting saw ten of us spread around a gorgeous, dark wood conference table, sitting on very plush, puffy, and comfortable office chairs that rocked, rolled, and spun in three-hundred-sixty degree circles.
Person leading the meeting was passionate yet boring and as she turned to write some stuff on the white board, I discovered my chair was strategically placed so as to enable me a complete circle without banging my knees, legs, and or feet on the table. Game on!
I nod to my meeting buddy and she discovers hers is also perfectly placed; she spins and comes back around facing me with a big smile. She nods to her tablemate and so on.
With my encouragement, nine adventurers set out on a quest of National Geographic proportions and when our leader turned around (maybe it was the wind blowing her skirt up that caused her to stop scribbling?) she saw nine of her best and brightest, spinning around like second graders. One of us wasn’t spinning, but…er…she knew me and I got the lecture anyway.
***
Pre conference call chatter is always interesting, because someone usually says something they get busted for, right? Many years ago, there was this:
“…yeah, that was kinda ironic,” one guy says.
“What’s ironic mean?” someone asked honesty.
First guy to pipe up was the guy I knew it would be. He ran the Houston market, and that’s all I need to say about that. Houston people are…different. This is kinda gross but funny so read with caution, but I swear it’s true and an exact quote because I’ll never forget it. Not sure if it was original but it was the first time I’d heard it.
“Well,” the Houstonian begins, “it’s like when you’re driving along in your car and you’re kinda rooting around in your nose and you pull the mother load out. It’s so big it that when it comes out, it makes a suction noise and your eyes water. There’s a datgum hair in the middle of it. And then you look out your driver’s side window and see an extremely hot blonde staring at you with her mouth wide open. That’s ironic.”
Right on cue, the silent-up-until-that-point Vice President says, “Yeah, and my wife was exceedingly grossed out, too, Clay, but thanks for starting this call off with a bang.”
*Sniff* Ah...those were the days.
