Since last week focused more on ‘please do nots’, this week’s advice centers around the ‘please dos’ of four style essentials. There are certain things a woman’s closet is naked without:  a great pair of jeans, a white shirt (or two), a little black dress, and a car coat. For starters. Having these ‘tools’ at your wardrobing disposal will build a great foundation for you (and your closet).

Jeans: find a pair of boot cut jeans in a dark rinse with 1-3% spandex long enough that you cannot see your ankle bones (longer with heels). Make sure the back pockets are relatively big, centered closer to the middle seam vs. the side seams, and a little lower on your toosh. Trust me. It’s a backside miracle if you’re looking to minimize. Flap pockets help balance out a hiney that’s flatter than Nebraska.

White shirt: For t-shirts, get cotton with a little bit of stretch. If you like 100% cotton, the ‘perfect fit’ t-shirt at JCrew has micro-ribs that keep its shape. I personally prefer a ballet (boat) neck with three quarter sleeves. For blouses, go tailored with three quarter or long sleeves, buttons down the front, and a crisp collar. Again, personal preference, I like a mandarin collar with subtle detail for flair.

Little black dress: this is me in a rare cave to social pressure. I don’t much care for black, but it is versatile. A well-tailored sheath dress in a structured fabric is good for straighter figures or an a-line in a variety of fabrics if you’re dressing curves. My favorite black dress is stretchy wool with short sleeves and a subtle cowl neck. I don’t wear it a ton, but I’m glad it’s in my closet when I need it.

Car coat: this is a nice way of saying you need good outer wear so as not to spoil your outfit. Consider length, material, color, and lapel when purchasing a coat. A good length for petites is upper mid-thigh and longer for their taller counter-parts. Wool always looks nice, and mercerized cotton is a great alternative for warmer weather or layering. While I prefer camel or navy, black is a perfect basic. Lastly, decide if you prefer a coat that buttons all the way up or a notched lapel.

No one wants a naked closet, so wear this instead.

Today’s topic is a little touchy but near and dear to my heart. Literally. Sports bras and other gym attire.

A friend asked me about workout wear specifically wanting to know where she could wear gym clothes after she left the gym. This particularly fit friend can wear whatever she wants wherever she wants. Sigh. For the rest of us, there are some guidelines. Ok, for her, too, to prevent car crashes or husband smacks. Consider the typical errand-sphere of most suburban inhabitants: Target, schools, lunch, mall, groceries, and kid games. As a rule of thumb, gym clothes will suffice anywhere you will push a cart, eat with a menu on the wall, and cheer little kids. By default, extended trips to the mall – no one wants you to try things on all sweaty – and school visits are a no-no. With a caveat. If you are dropping off, fine. If you are sticking around, make sure you’re dressed to the standard that the school expects of its students.

On another note, think about conventional gym attire. Obviously you don’t need to dress to impress; however, the best thing I ever did to lose 35 pounds was get decent workout-specific clothes. Like a uniform, I take my exercise more seriously when I wear clothing specific to the task at hand…not something I’d clean my floors in.

While I’m at it, I feel compelled – no, OBLIGATED – to address the issue of workout bras. I am so evangelical about a certain brand of exercise bra that I should get an endorsement from them. Seriously, people have stopped me from offering ‘free consultations’ to strangers. In my not so humble opinion, no other bra does a better job keeping your chest in one place than Enell. Google it or visit Run On in McKinney. Admittedly, it is ugly. It is my sacrifice to vanity’s altar.  But do you know what it is really ugly? Budunka-dunka. There’s not even a word for that awful bounce; just a sound effect. It is so vulgar to see a woman running or jumping or whatever with all of her femininity all over the place – no matter how much you paid for them. I’m not just talking about busty women either. Smaller sizes need to keep it together, too. If you don’t already have one, do yourself, no, do us all a favor, and pick one up.

The inaugural post.  No pressure, right?  But at the end of the day, all of us bloggers are exhibitionists and/or voyeurs.  I’ll post mine if you post yours.  So, here I post…

Well, since I’ve had sick kids, I haven’t been able to go out to take pictures of what not to wear and practice using little black bars to protect privacy.  Ok.  No.  I PROBABLY wouldn’t really do that.  Though I’ve had a good laugh thinking about it.  But do we really want to find out?  Nod, nod, wink, wink…  Because I have indeed been buried up to my eyeballs in Kleenex, Advil, and cough medicine with Hydrocodone in it (don’t be jealous), I’m gonna take on a light-weight style subject:  jeans. 

Although finding the perfect pair can SEEM as allusive as finding the perfect swimsuit – one exists, the other does not – it’s really kind of simple.  Not easy, but simple.  For the sake of argument, let’s break down jeans into five basic categories:  bootleg, flare, trouser, skinny, and please don’t.  With those styles come ‘rises’…which refers to how high up on your belly the waistline hits.  I’m a mom; I no longer refer to my midsection as ‘abs’ or ‘stomach’…just belly.  ANYWAY…I digress.  Which I do.  There’s 3 essential rises in my oh-so-humble opinion:  varying shades of ‘low’ rise (beware the backside and dunlap), ‘mid’ rise (most flattering), and ‘please don’t’ (high-waisted) which is trying to be trendy right now.  Ew.

So!  If you don’t have a passion for fashion and don’t feel like reading the rest of this, do one thing:  buy bootleg jeans.  They’re the best thing to happen for the female form since the bra.  Anybody can wear them, and everyone should own a pair.  Puh-lease, please get a mid rise.  They can be fitted or relaxed from hip to knee with a gradually wider shape from knee to hem.  They balance out hips as well as add shape to the less shapely.  Like I said…a denim miracle.  The flare is the trendier BFF to the bootleg.  Imagine a bootleg with…wait for it…wait for it…more flare.  Not for the overly curvaceous…too much flare can make you look like a reflection in a circus mirror.

For those of you still reading…  The trouser leg, maneuvering well from casual (with flip flops) to a little more dressy with the right accruements, is also very flattering.  The front pockets are slanted and the leg is easy and slightly wide.  Avoid going too wide if you aren’t very tall or if you aren’t built like Heidi Klum.

The skinny leg.  It is as it says: it’s fitted and skinny.  And, don’t hate me for saying it, they’re also for people reflecting their namesake.  Nuff said.  You know who you are.

Lastly, the ‘please don’t’ aka ‘mom jeans’.  Perhaps I should have led with this.  Put simply…these are the jeans that are too high in the rise – I prefer 2-3 fingers below my navel, and frankly speaking, your navel, too – and create a kangaroo pouch no matter how much you weigh.  They do this other thing:  taper.  The only things that should taper are song lyrics and candles.  I can’t differentiate between sausage links and tapered jeans.  Even my mom, style icon at the ripe ol’ age of she won’t let me tell you, has a pair of old tapered jeans that she wears in the garden.  She, weighing all of ‘not much’ even soaking wet, puts on 10 lbs when she busts out those relics.    

So, if you’ve got a pair of sausage pants, burn them (Mom, are you reading?).  And, hey, it’s better that you know.