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My baby girl, who turned six months old this week also reached the major milestone of sitting up by herself! Granted, I have to position her and be on alert because, while she balances from front-to-back like a champion, her side-to-side is still a work in progress.

Mommy (that's me), whose age will not be disclosed, also is reaching a major milestone this week. I am going back to work. Not that I haven't been working for the last six months...I have. I am just going to start working outside of the house and start receiving a paycheck for my efforts.

In anticipation of me returning to work, my husband and I have started touring local day cares and have been struggling to make the biggest decision of our lives: Who do we trust to take care of our baby girl for 8,9, maybe even 10 hours a day?

Daycare has changed a lot since my younger days and we were shocked and amazed to see how high tech things have gotten! Video monitors, Internet cameras, finger print recognition...I will need training on just how to use the touch screen monitor to check my daughter in each morning! It's easy to get distracted by the bells and whistles each facility can offer but we have learned that, while it's important to research the child care facilities thoroughly, read reviews, and get personal referrals, the best advice I can give is to make a list of things that are important to you and trust your instincts.

Here is the list of questions/ requirements we usedwhen doing our tours and interviews (Remember, these were for our 6 month old. Questions for older children may differ):

1. What is the ratio of infants to caretakers?

2. Do you offer Internet viewing? Is there an associated fee?

3. Are naps and feedings schedules customized for each baby or done as a group?

4. How much time a day should we expect our baby to be out of her crib?

5. How much time a day will our baby get to spend outdoors? With what kind of safety/ supervision?

6. How are the cribs, sheets, toys, etc...cleaned and sanitized and how often?

7. What supplies do we need to provide and how will they be stored? What kind of supplies will the facility provide? (i.e some places provide baby wipes, some don't)

8. What is your holiday schedule? Does this match my employers holiday schedule?

9. What ages are grouped together in the same room? (some providers keep babies from 6 weeks- 12 months in the same space, others divide them up at 6 month intervals)

10. What are you fees for late pick ups if I am caught up at work or stuck in traffic?

11. Do you have an open door policy for parents where I can stop in and check on or spend time with my child whenever I want?

12. Is there an abundance of age-appropriate toys, books, etc...

13. Do you send home progress reports daily? Weekly? What will these reports include?

14. Do you send home copies of the children's lesson plans so we can incorporate the same activities into our playtime?

15. what is your discipline policy?

16. What is your sick child policy?

17. Can I bring my baby in to do a test day or half day before enrolling?

18. What kind of training and certification do the caregivers have? What kind of ongoing training and education is required?

19. Do you offer vacation credits?

20. What kind of security measures are in place to ensure only parents, children, staff and authorized visitors are in the building?

It may seem like overkill to some but putting our baby into daycare is not a decision we are going to make lightly and I would rather ask too many questions than not enough. I'm sure there are moms more annoying that me...aren't there?

Needless to say, we have found a place that satisfied our requirements and we are cautiously optimistic about our baby girl starting there is a couple of weeks. She will adapt and thrive because that's what babies do! Mommy, on the other hand, is going to need all the support she can get!

Wish us luck!

Posted by A DFW Mommy... on Aug 25, 2009 5:15 PM

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Codependency: A Mom's Definition

Webster's Dictionary defines "codependency" as "an unhealthy dependence on the needs of or control by another".

I may not have a big book of words named after me but I do have my own definition of "codependency" and it's pretty simple: "needing someone else as much as they need you". Going with my definition instead of the more widely accepted Webster's version makes it easier for me to admit that I have become completely codependent on my daughter.

I don't need her to feed me and change my diapers (although I might ask her to return the favor in my golden years) but I do rely on her as much as she does me for comfort, entertainment, and companionship.

It started out innocent enough. When we first brought her home from the hospital, I adapted to her schedule. When she would sleep, I would sleep. When she was awake, I was awake. I then found that my moods were a direct result of her temperament on a given day. When she was happy, I was happy. If she had a bad day, so would I.

After a few months as a stay-at-home mom, I could see our bond strengthening. I realized I was using my daughter as my personal therapist. I could talk and talk to her about anything and she was such a good listener and never seemed to judge me or give me unsolicited advice. In return, I listened attentively to all of her baby babbling and coos. She also became the person I looked to for comfort when I had a bad day or was feeling down, just as she would look to me when she needed extra loving.

Now, I don't like to leave the house without her, even though it's 10 times more work to take her and even if I know she's in the best of hands. When given the opportunity for adult interaction, she is the first thing I want to talk about. She is the last thing I think about before I go to sleep and the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Some people I know might say that I have lost who I am since I became a mom but I think I've actually found who I was meant to be. Without realizing it was even happening, my daughter has become my reason for sleeping/eating/working/living/breathing...and I don't see anything unhealthy about it.

Posted by A DFW Mommy... on Aug 13, 2009 3:36 PM

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The MOST Important List

I am a keeper of lists. Thoughts in my head are here today, gone tomorrow and the only way I can retain information is to write it down. I have my to-do list, my honey-do list, grocery shopping list, errands-to-run list, topics-to-write-about list, upcoming events list, Christmas card list, Christmas shopping list, family and friends birthday list, address and phone number lists, projects around the house list and, finally, my keeping-track-of-all-my-lists list.Since I know I will forget about anything that isn't written down, I decided to start another list, which may be the most important list I keep: Advice For My Daughter List. I don't expect she retains much of the knowledge I am dispensing on her at 5 1/2 months old and the day will come where my advice will be the last thing she wants so I decided to start a list of things I want her to know and take under advisement so that, when she is able to comprehend and willing to listen, I don't forget anything!

Advice for My Daughter:

1. Marry someone who can and does cook. This way, cooking can be a pleasure for you and not a "have-to". 2. Always carry a hairbrush, dental floss, powder, mints/gum and feminine products in your purse or bag. All will come in handy someday.

3. Be nice to everyone. You never know who they will turn out to be or when your paths will cross again.

4. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing...just do the best you can at what YOU do.

5. Beauty is only skin-deep but always try to put your best foot forward because first impressions only come around once.

6. Go to college! Even if you plan on never having a job! This is not advice...more of a command.

7. Learn to sew. But don't ask me to teach you...I can't even mend a hem or fix a button!

8. Give more hugs than you get

9. Be open to ideas that are different from your own. You may not always agree with others but it's always good to know the other side of an argument.

10. Say you're sorry as soon as you mean it. Don't say it if you don't mean and don't wait for the other person to say it first.

11. Talk to God often, not just when you want something.

12. Take care of yourself. Drink lots of water, exercise and wear sunscreen.

13. Travel as much as you can.

14. Take lots of pictures and keep a diary. Memories fade with time but a picture and a few words can bring it all back.

I know I will have more to add as the years go on and she will probably roll her eyes the first time she reads it but someday, she will look back and say "My mom was right"...hopefully!

Posted by A DFW Mommy... on Aug 5, 2009 4:22 PM

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Unsolicited Advice for Surviving a Cry Baby

My daughter was a fussy, fussy newborn. She was the kind that would just cry...for hours...about nothing. She was fed, rested and dry...just not happy. I'd look at other parents with infants who were calm, mellow, even terminally sleepy, and I'd be so jealous and secretly hoping that their calm babies were just taking their time and plotting a hostile takeover.

My baby has just outgrown her crabbiness in the last couple of weeks and is now joining the ranks of the Happy Baby Club. I am ecstatic to no longer be stuck in "survival mode". I now actually get to enjoy her company and look forward to the new experiences each day brings.

Since the crying and screaming has now been replaced with smiles and coos, I have some peace and quiet to reflect on the last 5 months and offer some of my famous unsolicited advice to new parents of fussy babies.

1. It is not your fault! Your baby is probably just wishing he/she was back inside their mama, snug as a bug. Instead of thinking that your baby doesn't like you, think of it as their old home in your belly was so cozy and comfortable, they didn't want to leave yet!

2. Don't become a hermit in your home because the baby is too fussy to take out! Maybe you aren't ready to go to a quiet movie or fancy restaurant with your little monster but there isn't any reason you can't go to a mall, loud, casual restaurant or, better yet, an outdoor park or shopping center. Fussy babies are usually calmed by loud background noises and the fresh air can do wonders for their temperament. If you get out and about among the living, you'll feel better too!

3. Be patient! This was the hardest lesson for me to learn. Crying for no apparent reason can be heartbreaking to listen to and can make you want to pull your hair out. Just keep in mind that your baby is a BABY and logic and reason are beyond their scope of thinking. Take a break when you can and, if possible, mom and dad can take turns dealing with the tantrums, which can relieve a lot of the stress and help both parents understand what is going on.

4. Talk about your fussy baby! It's easy to feel like you're the only one who has an unhappy baby and that there isn't anyone else who can understand. Since I've started talking to other moms, I've realized that this is so not the case! Lots of parents are "blessed" with a case of the cry-babies in the first 3-4 months and they also felt like they were all alone. Don't hide your problem...publicize it! You'll be surprised at the support and advice you'll get from others going through the same thing!

5. Start a countdown! Research about colic or fussy babies shows that, by 3-4 months, almost all signs of fussiness are gone. This may seem like a lifetime to a new parent but it really does fly by! Next think you know, you'll be reminiscing about your babies first weeks fondly and missing the early days.

If none of this works, call me! I'll show you video and pictures of my daughter, screaming her head off for 4 months straight...then maybe your baby won't seem so bad!

Posted by A DFW Mommy... on Aug 4, 2009 5:46 PM

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When a Playdate Turns Into a First Date

My daughter and I recently joined a local Mommy-and-Me group and we were so excited to go to our first official playdate this week! The Hip Mommy & Me Playgroup of Allen is over 130 members strong and promised to provide lots of fun activities and a chance for Madelyn to play with some other babies close to her age. It would also give me a chance to get to know some local stay-at-home moms and engage in adult conversation for the afternoon (even though the topic of the adult conversation was mostly our babies). I knew Madelyn would have a good time but I did not anticipate that her first playdate would turn into her First Date!

Our group was meeting at a local Mall, in their kids play area. Since school is out, the play area was crazy and chaotic. There were babies crying, little kids screaming, big kids (too big to be there, in my opinion) jumping and running. My daughter is used to the peace and quiet of our house so I was worried she would be overwhelmed by all of the activity and noise and get upset.

Let's just say that I didn't need to worry. Amidst all of the chaos, my little Princess had made eye contact with a little boy around her age and was keeping herself busy smiling at him, batting her eyelashes, laughing, then looking away and trying to sneak a peak at him again to see if he was still looking at her...which he was! This flirtatious behavior went on for a good 10-15 minutes until Little Boy had to leave with his mommy.

I was left wondering how little girls learn the power of flirting at such an early age and how little boys are sucked in by it years before they really understand why.

I am grateful that I got a chance to witness this early act of courtship first-hand because now I will be able to warn my husband of what the future holds for us. First, she will practice her skills on him. She will learn which tactics work and which ones still need perfecting. Next, she will unleash her powers of persuasion on little boys in the school yard to get cuts in the lunch line and, by the teenage years, she will have honed these razor-sharp skills to manipulate all those she comes into contact with.

I don't know if there is anything I can do to change the course of these events. My experience today has shown me that, in the debate of nature vs. nurture, flirting is a skill little girls are born with. All I can do is try to contain it and take preventative measures to make sure that I do not become one of her victims. Unfortunately, I think her daddy may already be a lost cause...

For more information about the Hip Mommy & Me Playgroup of Allen, visit http://www.meetup.com/HipMommyandMeTX/

Posted by A DFW Mommy... on Jul 30, 2009 4:09 PM

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10 Reasons Why I Love Living in Allen, TX

If you've ever read my blog before, then you know I am a big fan of the Top 10 List. I decided to put together a Top 10 of the reasons Allen, TX is a great place to live!

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love Living in Allen, TX

1. Watters Creek!!! Great dining, great shopping, beautiful scenery...all

just 7 minutes from my front door!

2. The Wildflowers at Montgomery Farm

bloom every year in the Spring and are definitely worth taking a drive

up Bethany to check out.

3. All en Eagles Division 5A State Football Champions!!! Like having our own professional team!

4. The Allen Premium Outlets have over 100 stores, like Ann Taylor, Coach, Banana Republic, Gymboree and Neiman Marcus Last Call.

5. The Village at Allen and (coming soon!) The Village at Fairview shopping centers make it so easy to shop for everything I need in my own neighborhood!

6. Located at The Village at Allen, The Allen Event Center is coming soon and promises big time entertainment for our "small town".

7. We're getting our own CHL ice hockey team, The Allen Americans!

8. We were voted #19 on Forbes Magazine's list of America's 25 Best Places to Move! Now we can back up our bragging with real stats!

9. When the Arts of Collin County opens up, we will be the home of a premiere facility that will become a central destination for visitors can come and enjoy the diversity and vitality of the arts.

10. This is a wonderful place to raise a family. Allen ISD schools are consistently recognized on the state and local level for their exceptional performance.

Posted by A DFW Mommy... on Jul 23, 2009 5:48 PM

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Losing Control...It's Only the Beginning!

My daughter turned 5 months old this week and,
although I know we have just barely scratched the surface and the road ahead of me is a long one, I am already starting to see signs of independence and opinionated thinking in her, which scares me to death!

To start, everything now goes in her mouth. Her hands, her toys, her clothes, my hands, my hair, the cat's tail...basically anything that gets within arms length! No matter what I say or do, she is demonstrating a need to discover all of things (via taste) on her own.

I can already tell that this will go on for an infinite number of years...I will tell her something is dangerous or that she shouldn't do it and she will do it anyway because she wants to find out for herself and make her own decisions about what she can or cannot do. I also imagine quite a bit of eye-rolling going on during these debates...I did it to my mom and she will return the favor.

She is also now on her stomach, legs tucked under, head up, just waiting for the upper-body portion to click and she will be off to the races, crawling up a storm! The idea of her being mobile scares me to death! I have a hard enough time keeping up with her now and she doesn't yet have the ability to be more than a foot away at all times!

This need to stretch her legs and move around is going to translate, no doubt, into going out with friends, driving, possibly moving away from me someday. I can't even begin to grasp the concept of not being with her all day, everyday and knowing exactly where she is and who she is with all the time. I can baby-proof our home but I can't baby-proof the world for her. I can practically hear my own mom laughing at me right now...and I now apologize to her for every broken curfew and speeding ticket and totally understand why she made such a big deal out of all of it!

Television is also now a favorite obsession of my daughter. It seems way too early for her to be captivated by the colors and sounds. The worst part is that she only likes to watch the most obnoxious, annoying shows on...Yo Gabba Gabba and Wonder Pets are at the top of her list!

Someday, I imagine having this same battle with her over which movies she can go and see or the kind of loud music she will be blasting up in her room. Maybe she will also have friends that I don't approve of or a hideous boyfriend that my husband will need to scare off.

Seeing her grow up so fast has shown me that I need to treasure every single second with her now, while I still have a little bit of control and a little bit of power. These days are quickly slipping by. The laundry, the dishes, the vacuuming will all be there tomorrow but my little girl is becoming a little lady right before my eyes and I don't want to miss a thing!

Until next time...

For more ideas and info, visit http://to-doindfw.blogspot.com/

Posted by A DFW Mommy... on Jul 23, 2009 5:43 PM

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The Transition From "Miss" to "Ma'am"

Last week, at my local supermarket, the checker asked me "Would you like help out to the car with this, ma'am?". I turned and looked around for my mother, only to then realized he was talking to me! Then, just yesterday at the car wash, the cashier handed me my change and politely said "Thank you, ma'am". It was starting to become clear to me what was going on...I have lost my status as a "Miss" and have now transitioned to a "Ma'am"!

At first, I was depressed over this turn of events. Did this mean that I was starting to look like an old lady? Was I dressing too frumpy or acting like a stick-in-the-mud? How could I reverse this unpleasant turn of events and turn the clock back??

I then realized that, every time someone referred to me as "Ma'am", they were addressing me politely and with respect. I began to think about the women in my life who I thought of as "ma'ams"...my mother and mother-in-law, teachers, previous employers...all women who I look up to and admire.

Maybe this wasn't so bad. Maybe I have made the transition from a "Miss" who isn’t taken seriously and still had a lot to learn to a "Ma'am" who is now worthy of a little respect! Instead of mourning the loss of my former status, I decided to celebrate it! A "ma'am" can have a little jiggle to her belly and blame it on the baby. A "ma'am" can give disapproving looks to badly behaved teenagers. A "ma'am" does not need any excuse to go to bed early on a Saturday night. I am now my husband's wife and my daughter's mom and there is nothing I would rather be!

So, to all the other new "ma'ams' out there: Enjoy this time! Forget about your 20's and embrace your new title! You are now a woman to be reckoned with! These will be the best days of your life!

Until next time...

For more ideas and info, visit http://to-doindfw.blogspot.com/

Posted by A DFW Mommy... on Jul 23, 2009 5:41 PM

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Becoming My Mother...

When I was little (and by “little”, I mean 11 years old and earlier), my mom was my world. She could do no wrong, knew everything about everything, and was who I aspired to be.

Flash forward to ages 12 to 21, or, as my mom calls them, The Wonder Years (she says this with total sarcasm). These were the years where my mom could do no right, knew nothing about anything and I took every preventative measure to be the exact opposite of her in every way. When our battles would escalate, my mom would say “Just wait until you have a daughter of your own…you’ll see how I feel”. Yeah, right…as if I would be anything like her!

I’m not sure exactly when it started to happen…maybe around age 27 or 28. I would hear myself say something and think in the back of my head, “I sound just like my mom!”. I noticed my mannerisms, the tone of my voice, the way I use my hands when I talk, were all just like her. Our relationship started to change, too. Slowly, we evolved from mother-daughter to best friends. I finally began to see how she would sacrifice everything for my happiness and is my biggest supporter, even when she doesn’t completely agree with me.

Then, it happened. The day she had been anticipating for so long…I was having a baby of my own! And, the icing on the cake…I was having a daughter! My mom was thrilled, not only to be a Grandma to her first grandchild, but also to finally have me feel and understand everything that she went through and felt for me.

And, of course, since my mom is always right, that is exactly what happened.

I now know that, for the greater good of my daughter, I can’t always give her exactly what she wants. I know I will have to tell her that she can’t do certain things or go certain places and she will be mad and hate me for it. I know we will have those years where we may become enemies and she will think I’m the meanest mom in the world. I also know that one day, she will wake up and, just like I did, realize that her worst nightmare has come true…she has turned into her mother and she couldn’t be happier.

Until next time...

For more ideas and info, visit my other site, What To Do in DFW

http://to-doindfw.blogspot.com/

Posted by A DFW Mommy... on Jul 17, 2009 9:04 AM

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Do you ever feel like the stars just line up?

Do you ever feel like things just work out sometimes exactly as they are supposed to? I usually don't but today I am feeling particularly "glass-half-full". My other blog, What To Do in DFW, just got featured in a story that is going to air on the CBS11 10:00 News on Wednesday, 7/22!

I am so excited!!!!

http://to-doindfw.blogspot.com/

Posted by A DFW Mommy... on Jul 15, 2009 1:56 PM

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