I leave for Beaumont tomorrow. I will regale and debrief on tales of Cut-N-Shoot, Texas (actual city I pass through on my way home), Texaco Oil and my high school friend's wedding when I return.

-Marcu Out-

Play connect the dots with your mosquito bites. When people ask why you did it explain you wanted to look like a constellation, then casually walk away.

-Marcus Out-

There are some awesome board games that I really want to find.If any readers have a copy or know a place to resurrect these games let me know. The links are to some of the original TV ads. Enjoy.

1.) Fireball Island: Red marbles... explorer's hats... Strange gods? So much fun for the whole family. This is also the coolest gameboard ever.
2.) Crossfire: I want to draw a mural on my wall of the arena with the contestants flying in on their respective game pieces.
3.) Battleship: What is better than screaming "You sunk my battleship," as your opponent downs your gunboat... I'll tell you what's better, nothing.
4.) Grape Escape: Play-Doh masochism, for the win. (get the pun?? I'm so witty)
5.) Hero Quest: My goal is to find somebody at Ren-fest who owns this game... then challenge him.

-Marcus Out-

I think it's really funny when people type like this! Because every sentence makes me feel more excited! Like somebody is YELLING! And yelling is totally awesome! Because it is loud and loud brings excitement!

For instance every sentence sounds cooler when you exclaim it with an exclamation point.

"My cat's name is Whiskers."

"My cat's name is Whiskers!" (see, just imagine the inflection on the voice, it's that much better).

WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?!

!

-Marcus Out-

A satchel bag, cabby hat and some wool pants. I want the total paper boy look. You know something like those crazy kids in Newsies.

-Marcus Out

To quote Sen. Ted Stevens, R-Ala., "The Internet is not a big truck, it's a series of tubes."

After daunting battles with the computer networks today, I somewhat have to agree with the senator who proposed a bridge to nowhere.

Sorry this isn't my usual daily funny, but "if you don't understand, those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material."
ACTUAL TED STEVENS-ISM

-Marcus Out-

Everybody is up in arms about Beijing 2008 and the opening ceremony that begins next Friday, but you know something, that's way overplayed.
I'm looking forward to the Queen's Olympics. LONDON 2012 HERE WE COME!

-Marcus Out-

Is totally overrated. My chest and abs hurt. I'll stick to wooing people with with my shimmering smile, not chisled torso.

-Marcus Out-

Go to Wal-Mart and buy a BB Gun. You will not be upset when you realize how much fun a Daisy Air Rifle is (I rank it somewhere between a four-wheeler and water skiing). Don't shoot your eye out though.

-Marcus

There are several things that are very unfun:

1.) Traffic Jams on 635
2.) Burning my tongue on a cup of coffee
3.) Missing a gimmie putt in golf
4.) Riding a Segway
5.) Highway 635
6.) Three hour waits for a 29 second roller coaster ride.
7.) 6-3-5

-Marcus Out-