Strong Authoritative Parents= Strong & Successful Students  

Morning Routine:  Successful parenting and teaching is so much more complicated for us than it was for our parents and teachers.  The basics, however are the same.  Our parents stressed the importance of discipline, boundaries, consequences and routine.  Those values are still the rules, but with much more dire consequences for not learning them.

Begin the Routine.   The night before school starts, make sure that time and attention are dedicated to getting off to the best start possible.  There will be plenty of things happening in the morning.  Do what your parents did: 1) help your child chooseand set out his school clothes, 2) have children prepare their backpacks, 3) dinner and baths should happen early, and 4) bedtimes should be appropriate to the age group, but early and adhered to.    If this routine is continued for the first full week of school, you should find that the longer it is in place, the more used to their new boundaries your children will get, and the less flack you have to take about it.     It takes discipline on the part of the parent to keep up the expectations that will make this a lifestyle routine.  It will however, eventually save lots of time, energy, stress and ‘wear and tear’ on your relationships with your spouse, your children, and yourself.

Dress Code.   If you are home in the morning, make sure your child eats breakfast.  Before your child leaves for school, check his/her outfit for dress code compliance (the policy should be posted on the refrigerator.) 

School/Home policies.   Then, (understand THIS MAY CAUSE AN ALARMED REACTION on the part of your child, especially if they are used to going about their way “unchecked”) check their backpack.  Yes, open it up-- for the purpose of making sure they have everything they need—their CLASSWORK ASSIGNMENT(for you),planner (if they have one at this point) paper, folders, writing implements and lunch money, etc.   This simple act lets them know you care, and but more importantly, it lets them know you are in control.

Act surprised, but don’t be.   Now, be prepared. Especially in the case of secondary students, you may find an assortment of ‘contraband items.’  Ipods, hand-held computer games, CD players, even alternative clothing articles are not unusual finds in a student’s backpack, and are normally not allowed at school.     If it does occur, its better that you find the ‘contraband’ articles, than that you  receive a call from the school administration and have to leave work during the day, to bring your student “appropriate clothing” or pick up “ electronic toys” that should not be at school, and should have been left at home.—At this point, don’t over-react.  Teenagers are supposed to push boundaries.  It’s their job.  Simply take the clothes and/or electronic articles out of the backpack.  Put them aside (don’t give them to the child to put away, you will want consequences in place that prohibit them from wearing or using  the contraband articles again, until you say it’s appropriate).

Take it in stride.Smile and kiss them on the cheek. Tell them (as your parent would have told you) “Not this time, honey!” They may smile and acknowledge you, they may cut a fit and stomp off, but regardless of their reaction, they will respect you and your authority as their parent will be intact.   

Send Off: Feed them, Hug them, Remind them!  After they’ve eaten, the backpacks are in order, and the shock wears off a little, send them off to school (the car, bus, or the door if they walk) with a hug and a reminder that they have an assignment for you today, due when they arrive home from school. Tell them not to forget:  you expect it to be completed properly!